Handomeness and Likeability Have A Positive Correlation, I'm Afraid to Admit

Dear Jesse Eisenberg or Jesse Eisenberg's agent,

When you/he put some care into your appearance and sit up straight without that usual jutting-neck out, you actually appear....hmm......dare I say it....attractive. Pretty attractive. Kinda hot in that certain way, in fact.

This can only lead to a positive outcome especially when combined with that dry wit of yours, so please continue to invest effort in this auspicious potential.

Love,

a budding fan