Adam Shankman Rant

Dear Adam Shankman,

Taylor Lautner? (as much as it pains me to even mention his name on this blog, yes) Miley Cyrus and Zac Efron?

Their fans will already be in bed by the time the Oscars start, you DUMB TURTLEFUCK. Or they will youtube them the next day. 1 minute online versus swimming through three hours of boring adult talk and movies they've never even heard of. I would far prefer an organized Kanye-like stunt at the Oscars than have these glossy hacks besmirch a night that supposedly celebrates *good* movies. Even if you argue that the Oscars celebrate populist mediocrity, there is nothing that Efron, Lautner, or Cyrus have done that even reaches mediocrity. They're the reps of Crapland. I'm down with K-Stew because she's been in some pretty solid stuff - Into the Wild, Adventureland, and I loved Panic Room and The Runaways look interesting, at least. She's an industry veteran, despite her debatable acting skills. Whereas all the others have come straight from the showbiz cookie-cutter factory. I mean, was it too hard to get Shia LaBeouf, man? Preteens love him and he's going to be in Oliver Stone's Wall Street 2 (and dating Carey Mulligan!). He actually has more than a 10% chance of retaining a long acting career, unlike the three I mentioned. For god's sake, even Megan Freaking Fox! At least she has a goddamn personality. And unlike Efron and Cyrus, does not resemble a hermaphrodite.

And don't even get me on the John Hughes tribute. Much as I love him, how about a dead guy whose movies can be fondly referenced by at least 40% of an audience? What a fucking shame it will be when we see Scorsese, Bridges, and Streep clap in polite befuddlement ignorance after what will surely be a MTV-birthed montage. Way to make them feel like dinosaurs and remind them that, you know, they're not an important demographic.

Fuck you very much,

Stella

Campused #1

Irregular sleeping habits again. Penne a la Vodka, extra-salty sweet potato fries, and my little creme brulee debacle. I wanted to make creme brulee, but god knows I don't have one of those flame-torch thingamabobs to make the melted sugar top, so I decided to combine a creme brulee recipe with a baked flan's ( flans have easy sugar crusts on the bottom that do not require flame torchblowers). 

Alas, I poured the cream mixture into the still-liquid burnt sugar. Stupid. I hastily baked the whole thing anyway, but when it came out the sugar and the cream were still unhappily melded together in a dreadful watery hybrid. So I mixed the two together, rationalizing that two tasty things could make one tasty thing. I was right! The creme brulee mixture, infused with the rich caramelized sugar, birthed this ginormously palatable pudding-like concoction. I went to the dining hall later to get two bananas, and sliced them into the pudding. So I made crustless banana pie, in essence. I was proud of my cooking noggin for once, and my general inattention to things. So. good. My first invented recipe, yay!

The Best Post Ever.

As an antidote for my awards-deprivation, I watched some old Oscar montages. Here are some of my all-time favorites (btw, the Oscar people taking down all the unofficial oscar videos on Youtube drive me NUTS. More videos = more publicity and fans, and don't take them down unless you're willing to replace them! Assholes)


Woody Allen's Tribute to New York:

Post 9/11 montage tribute made by Nora Ephron, also marking Allen's first-ever appearance at the Oscars. This was also the *first* Academy Awards ceremony I ever watched as a kid, and I had no idea who the shit Woody Allen was at the time. I wish the montage centered more on New York itself than the Important movies ("The Apartment" and "On the Waterfront" clips, for instance, are not entirely relevant to the city's uniqueness. More lights, less interiors) But the best part is Allen himself, busting the audience's gutss)



John Williams - Movie Score Medley
One of the best things you'll ever see. Seamless medley of classic scores. Dazzling.



1990 Movie Montage
Someone called this the "greatest film montage ever" and I have yet to see a worthy contender. There are clips from nearly a hundred movies, many of which I don't recognize, with Old Hollwood stars I don't recognize, and the best thing I can say about it is that its maker really loved movies.

wow.




2003 - Supporting Actress Montage

I only watch the first half of this clip. 75 supporting actresses, in fleeting glimpses. The music is just swoony and perfectly matched to the minute-or-so showcase of the playfulness, sadness, and sexiness displayed by these invaluable players. My favorite is the shot of Eva Marie Saint from "On the Waterfront" lowering herself in her childlike exquisiteness.




And screw montages, but my *FAVORITE* awards-show moment of all time:

Witty Daniel Day-Lewis + a losing Robin Williams + a very stoned Jack Nicholson = More Epic Than Avatar
If only the Oscars had these kind of moments. They would never have to worry about ratings again. Absolutely the funniest moment ever.

Deprivation

I'm craving for more award shows. If Jeremy Renner's Sgt. James is an adrenaline junkie, then I'm an awards show junkie, a complete snoz for the embarrassing/funny/cringe-inducing star moments, the glitz, the awkward stars, the tense openings of the envelopes, the run-on tributes, and best of the all, the glorious (I actually spelled glourious at first. Damn Tarantino) film montages.

Funny how I always turn to my blog when it's homework time again. Somehow writing on my blog "justifies" not doing the hw. Very bad.

Anyways, the the SAG awards were two weeks ago, the BAFTAS aren't until for another two weeks. That's an entire month between the two. Grrr. I wholeheartedly wish someone could have taped the DGA awards and put it up on youtube for Oscarmaniacs as myself.


Spent the whole weekend cooking and watching movies instead. Curried potato-leek soup with apple slices, peach-mango guacamole (sounds fancy, but not really. I just brought a jar of peach-mango salsa from Whole Foods and emptied it into the guacamole), crepes with whipped cream and blueberry compote. Wanted to make sweet potato fries as well, but decided to save them until next week. Whole Foods opportunities don't come along very often.

Also read some more David Sedaris [/love].

Movies: Sid and Nancy, half of Far From Heaven before the DVD went berserk on me, Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, and Angels in America.

Sid and Nancy - Nancy is so intensely unlikeable, without any redeeming qualities whatsoever (I would have taken bitter wit, style, refreshing no-bullshit attidude, fearlessness, beauty, teasing allure - just about anything - but all I got was a clingy, dumb, chubby chick. Just didn't work.

Angels in America - better than most of the movies I've seen. Award for Best Example (of utilizing a television series' length to its full extent, instead of as an excuse to drag out a plotline.) Mike Nichols, Pacino, Streep, Emma Thompson, Jeffrey Wright, Mary-Louise Parker, plus a bunch of little-known actors that knocked me out cold.

Typical prestige piece, you say? NEVER. Angels in America has a sexy, fast-thudding pulse, a movie that pants with emotion and wit. Four hours of TV felt like a quarter of the length, so absorbed I was into the seamless chapters, each story and couple as strong and compelling as the next. (No Julie and Julia here, folks) Un-freaking-believably eloquent script by Tony Kushner. As every great piece of cinema has, a few WTF moments here, pure visual bliss there. Couldn't stop watching. An absolute privilege to watch.

Never Read Oscar Reader Comments Ever Again

I am seriously despairing that I live in a world where most people have never re-read a book, but somehow, eagerly prefer to watch regurgitated Lifetime feces like "The Blind Side" even though they know exactly what they're getting. And love it unabashedly. And call movies like "Avatar", "Up in the Air", and "Inglourious Basterds" (and I quote), "depressing obscure artsy fare".


DO WE HAVE BRAINS THE SIZE OF CATS AND DOGS TO THE POINT WHERE WE FIND EATING SHIT APPEALING?

Sorry. Just in a slightly emotional state right now.