What has been killing, killing, killing me over the past few days, is how some people have been trying to justify the rape. I saw a post on IMDB so offensive, I'll need to reprint it here.
"People Who Think Polanski Should Be in Prison is Under-Educated..."
The 13-year old girl was no child, but a teenager.
She had already had sex on numerous ocassions.
Polanski was un-aware of her age.
The girl was the kind who looked she could have been anywhere from 15-25.
Polanski OFFERED her alchohal, which she accepted, understandably to seem "hip". She never said "I'm under-aged". She didn't say anything.
She was not UNDER THE INFLUENCE when she had sex. This is a complete misnomer. She drank one glass.
She said "no" casually a few times. She didn't struggle, raise her voice, push him away or anything- she gave the impression she was fine with it. To him, "no" could mean "I don't think of you this way".
She had already had sex on numerous ocassions.
Polanski was un-aware of her age.
The girl was the kind who looked she could have been anywhere from 15-25.
Polanski OFFERED her alchohal, which she accepted, understandably to seem "hip". She never said "I'm under-aged". She didn't say anything.
She was not UNDER THE INFLUENCE when she had sex. This is a complete misnomer. She drank one glass.
She said "no" casually a few times. She didn't struggle, raise her voice, push him away or anything- she gave the impression she was fine with it. To him, "no" could mean "I don't think of you this way".
JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH. That is all I have to say. Particularly the last one. It doesn't matter if she said no through miming, dance interpretation, or a raised middle finger. NO MEANS NO. This is how rape happens - the guy isn't taking the girl seriously. Well, too bad for him.
Besides, whether she said "no" or not is completely irrelevant. She is thirteen. She could have thrown herself at Polanski or stripped down to a pink thong, and it would still be irrelevant. It's his responsibility, as a 44-year-old adult, to restrain himself.
Another justification I've heard is that Polanski has already been through too much. I feel terrible about his wife. I blogged about it just last week. But seriously, going through the Holocaust and having a loved one murdered by Charles Manson does not give a "free rape" pass in life. In fact, it's even more shameful that someone who has experienced so much tragedy and oppression in life would inflict the same on someone else. He of all people should know the lifelong emotional repercussions of a single devastating event.
The ugly, subtly sexist sides this controversy has brought out in people is appalling. I can't believe that in this day and age, people only have a vague idea of what rape is. There is no "rape-rape", regardless of what Whoopi Goldbery says. Some rapes are more brutal than others, but it is still rape nevertheless. The rapist doesn't have to be a pervert. A boyfriend may rape a girlfriend, while she's drunk and unable to express her refusal. It may occur through miscommunication, when the guy thinks the girl was "asking for it". Like Joan on Mad Men, a rape can be quiet affair, with the woman silently suffering because she doesn't know what else she can do. Nevertheless, it is never the victim's fault. The people who think that Samantha Geimer is at fault have seriously twisted, fucked up logic.
I'm no radical feminist, but this troublingly flippant attitude towards rape is a woman's issue. After all, it is very difficult for women to actually rape men. But oh lord, just read the comments on the Huffington Post, or listen to the goddmann French writers advocating on behalf on Polanski, and they'll have you know that it's not always the man's fault when he rapes a woman, and by the way, Samantha Geimer is Delilah, Angelina Jolie, Lolita, all rolled into one, a minx, a harpy, and a conniving temptress in little girl's clothes.
Even in our sophisticated educational system, little attention is given to rape education, judging by the massive numbers of victims. A speaker once asked members of my school to stand up if they knew anyone who had been raped. Most of the students are from affluent, quiet suburbs, but two-thirds of the body stood up.
A few weeks ago, a 16-year-old girl in South Carolina was gang-raped for two hours by a dozen teenage boys after the homecoming dance, watched by at least twenty spectators. Later, I saw a Twitter remark - from a woman, yes - that I think personified the amazing progress we've made on promoting women's rights and realizing the barbaric nature of rape - "There are people getting murdered everyday, why is everyone making a big deal of this supposed "gang rape"?"
