All Right

Which jackasses actually voted for Tom Hooper over David Fincher? Stand up and admit your complete lack of taste, please.

Fuck you, AMPAS. Your attempts to get more "hip" this year fell flat as usual and the Golden Globes actually made better picks than you did.

Oscar Oscar Oscar!

Last year I was really excited for the Oscars because I didn't have a life at the time. It was right before spring break, everything felt drab and gray, and the days were just an endless cycle of ennui, work, and an occasional senior-fueled spat with the administration.

So the fact that I am anticipating the Oscars this year with only mild eagerness is a sign of progress, I think. I'm looking forward more to visiting a dear friend at her college and getting trashed with her for the first time (she was more uptight about drinking in high school).

And if anything, this has been one of the least exciting Oscar seasons I can recall. I blame the blogosphere for dissecting the race down to every last calibration to the point that any "surprises" that occur have already been predicted in advance. Even with the mild spouts of drama (The Melissa Leo thing, in which Leo will henceforth be referred to as a noun other than the person, as in "pulling a Melissa Leo"), the sudden "The King's Speech" switchabout, the snubs (my poor Andrew - stop saying that, why do I always feel so possessively protective of him? It's the vulnerable Bambi thing he has going on, probs) and happy nomination surprises (Hawkes and Weaver), the Fincher-Hooper showdown, the marvelous HBC speech - everything's been handled with grace, I feel. But I thought this would be a nice last time to give tribute to the 10 BP nominations. Randomly unfiltered, vaguely nonsensical.

BEST PICTURE COMPETITION

The American Rebel

The Royalty Porn/Feel-Good

The Underdog

Ordinary Man in Extraordinary Circumstances/Directorial Vehicle

The Indie Hit

The Family Drama

Pixar - Toy Story 3

The Blockbuster

The Spectacle/Thriller

The Western

LAST YEAR, my Oscar crushes were Kathryn Bigelow, Colin Firth, Anna Kendrick, Jeremy Renner, and Christoph Waltz. By crushes I mean I googled constantly without shame, youtubed them and gossiped about them and wondered about their respective futures.

THIS YEAR, my Oscar crushes were Annette Bening, Colin Firth (rewatched Valmont again the othe rnight), Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield, David Fincher, and HBC doesnt count becuase everyone is always obsessed with her anyways or at least they should be. I also became a fan of Amy Adams and Nicole Kidman via Oscar roundtables for the first time. They're both a lot more self-deprecating, charming, funny, and surprisingly non-fussy than I would have expected. Before, I thought Amy Adams was kind of bland and Nicole Kidman a self-absorbed diva, but they've only spoken intelligently and thoughtfully, and been sweetly low-profile throughout this period of incessant self-promotion.

MY FINAL PREDICTIONS:

Best Supporting Actor: Christian Bale

Best Animated Feature: Toy Story 3

Best Original Song: "We Belong Together" Randy Newman

Best Original Screenplay: The King's Speech

Best Animated Short: TBH, I don't have a damn clue. Fail, I know.

Best Documentary Short: Ditto

Best Live-Action Short: I don't even know the nominees.

Best Adapted Screenplay: The Social Network

Best Supporting Actress: Melissa Leo

Best Makeup: Barney's Version?

Best Costume: Alice in Wonderland

Best Sound Mixing: Inception

Best Sound Editing: Inception

Best Cinematography: True Grit

Best Original Score: The Social Network

Best Visual Effects: Inception

Best Documentary Feature: Restrepo

Best Editing: The Social Network

Best Foreign Language Film: Incendies

Best Actress: Natalie Portman

Best Actor: Colin Firth

Best Director: David Fincher, The Social Network

Best Picture: The King's Speech

Oscar viewing party food suggestions: Sushi, appletinis (The Social Network), frosted cake (Black Swan, The Fighter),beef kabobs (Winter's Bone - not same as squirrel, but oh well), anything organic-y - hummus, fruit smoothies, heirloom tomato hor d'oeuvres (TKAAR), trail mix (127 hours), tea sandwiches (The King's Speech).

Singing Baby Jesse Eisenberg

Oh god. I died laughing, in a sweet way.

Everyone just died knowing that Colin Firth is just as romantic as Mr. Darcy is.

Six Degrees of Award Circuits

It's just an aspect of my voyeuristic actorphilic self that I always enjoy making little connections betwen actors and stringing pieces of random/useless trivia together. Whenever I watch a big actors' event, my brain inevitably starts to buzzing "I wonder what said actor thinks of other actor?" "Have they met each other?" "They worked together on ___ and they're reunited! Holy shit!"

This year's "people of the hour" group has a lot of old-timers, so I had such glorious fun spotting the connections and remembering how they all know each other in one giant actor-cest circle.

Christian Bale actually has the most ties at these award shows, despite being seen as more of an outsider. He's worked with Nicole Kidman in 1995's "Portrait of a Lady". And of course, he and Christopher Nolan are one of the best Hollywood duets, even if it's quite ironic that their best-reviewed work was not with each other. He also used to be a good friend of Winona Ryder, who's been everywhere (fun fact: his wife was Winona's assistant before they got married! They met at a BBQ Winona was throwing) and I wonder if she was at the Golden Globes because Depp was there, and do they ever have awkward run-ins? Or maybe they're just all chill about it, like "let's pretend we weren't actually madly in love for years and you didn't used to have a tattoo of my name and you were not, in fact, my 'first everything'. Cool." Bale must also be seeing a lot of his "I'm Not There" costar Julianne Moore and fellow "Little Women" Claire Danes (who won awards endlessly for Temple Grandin) at these events, and be happy for Lisa Cholodenko who directed him in "Laurel Canyon". Oh, and lastly it's a shame Bale wasn't at the BAFTAS because Miranda Richardson was a nominee and of course, they worked together in his legendary debut film, Empire of the Sun. He really has worked with a lot of people, having been around for 20 years. I wonder what Richardson thinks of her growed up young costar.

A bit bizarrely, Natalie Portman and Annette Bening were both in "Mars Attack!" (I don't remember who they played at all) and she was also in "Cold Mountain" with Kidman.

Tom Hooper, despite being kind of a Hollywood newbie, still probably sees tons of friendly faces at these award circuits from his great TV work, like Paul Giamatti from "John Adams" and Barbara Hershey and Hugh Dancy from "Daniel Deronda" (I'm a fan of both, especially 'Daniel Deronda" - it's sensual, grandly moving and perfect for a rainy Saturday).

Maestro David Fincher knows a lot of people, obvs., like fellow Oscar nominee and "Fight Club" alum Helena Bonham-Carter (I love both of them so much), and has directed Mark Ruffalo, and "somewhat" directed Nicole Kidman (she was originally cast in "Panic Room" but backed out from a busted knee and made a voice cameo instead).

Just at the Golden Globes alone, it was cool that Johnny Depp was nominated (even if the nom was a completely facetious one) because he was nominated along with his "Pirates" co-star Geoffrey Rush and obvs. HBC since they and Tim Burton complete a robust triangle of weirdo-love. Speaking of Colin Firth, "The King's Speech" will be the second Best Picture-winning movie he's been in that also has Geoffrey Rush - they were both in "Shakespeare in Love" and most impressively, this is actually Firth's third BP winner - he was also in "The English Patient". So both he and Ralph Fiennes have three BP Oscar winners under their belt. Can we call up the stats for that? Who else has done that?. Um, according to Wikipedia, a lot. But still impressive! Best of all, I discovered a few months ago that Firth starred opposite Annette Bening in 1986's "Valmont", an adaptation of Les Liaisons dangereuses, which so surprised me that I watched the whole thing on instant Netflix. God, they were so YOUNG! And oh so beautiful. I highly recommend that one as well. If only Bening could win....it'd be so cool for the both of them.

Firth and Bening being period-wear sexy in "Valmont"

Mark Ruffalo and Michelle Williams were both in Shutter Island. You would have thought that their Oscar-nominated performances would have come from that movie.

Javier Bardem is nominated with The Coen Brothers who directed his Oscar-winning performance in No Country, of course.

Oddly enough, Jeff Bridges, despite having the longest career in the group, has no connections to any of the nominees, except the the Coen Bros.

JANE EYRE FIRST CLIPS ARE HERE

My ovaries did backflips while watching these clips. The clips are fucking. hot. This is my idea of porn, basically.

The first is after Jane saves Rochester from the fire. One of my favorite scenes from the book and it's a bit altered but OH SO SHMEXY (though my friend disagrees, calling it sinister, but what the hell does she know?) When she leaves him, I was like "FOOL" but of course, hers is the smarter move. Not that she planned it - she's just naturally good and morally upright - but it's still a smart tactic that can be employed in any modern romantic situation. It makes her so that much more tantalizing to Rochester (and respected by him too, of course). Men enjoy chases and stubborn girls.

"I am cold"[/But my insides are melting with steamy, scintillating desire]

Mr. Rochester proposes to Jane. Wow, this is a huge clip to show beforehand, obviously, but I guess they want to stir up as much interest as possible.

Mia's delivery is a bit stiff here. At times she *kinda* feels like she's reading off a page, which is disappointing, but overall it's effective. The Rochester voice is JUST PERFECT! Sigh. I like their chemistry. Gawsh I wanna see them make out.

Cousin Diana shows one of Jane's drawings to St. John.

Jamie BELL! Man it looks like he totally nails the whole repressed proper English thing. His voice is also schmexy (TOO MUCH SEXY IN THIS MOVIE!) and he kind of reminds of Christian Bale when he was thirteen, if that makes sense at all. Either way, he is really attractive in this video and I've never found Jamie Bell attractive. Which is important because he needs to be a strong foil to Rochester and though it never occurred to me while reading the book, the audience should feel some tension around the pair and suspect the potential of their relationship just alighting from the fact that they're both young, good-looking, and in close proximity, which is what Rochester does after he learns of St. John.

A month to go....can't wait.

2011: A Whiff of Hope

Well, Oscar season is far from over and I still have multitudinous tumultuous Oscar rants to rage about, but for now I'm looking ahead to 2011 in film.

Even if I've come to the realization that mediocre superhero flicks and trashy princess fairy tale live-action "interpretations" (aka Twilightfied) will saturate the movie market for the next, oh, twenty five years, there are always still glimmers of hope to be found.

Feb. 11: The Eagle - Channing Tatum, Jamie Bell

What? Don't judge me. Most likely it will end up being this year's "Clash of the Titans" (at least, just as funny and not as boring), but maybe it will be the best guilty pleasure of 2011. And that to me is just as wonderful as any movie plied with Oscars.

March 11: Jane Eyre - Mia Wasikowska, Michael Fassbender

OH MY GOD. I JUST CAN'T WAIT. Have already done my fair share of obsessive pre-conjuncturing.

May 27: The Tree of Life - Sean Penn, Brad Pitt (or the other way around?)

Well obviously even if we get redundant rhapsodizing of sheer nonsense from Malick, I'm just happy just to be bombarded by his sublime montages.

June 10: Super 8 - JJ Abrams (is always the real star of his movies)

It just looks real cool, is all. A bit of nostalgic Spielberg-feeling. I like the fact that Kyle Chandler is in it, though ENOUGH WITH THE ELLE FANNING. Child stars get overexposure like no other, and right now there are like, twelve. I haven't even seen "Somewhere" and even I'm sick of seeing her everywhere. She's supposedly modeling for Rodarte or something equally preposterous precocious.

July 15: Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows: Part II

I hope that this will be as haunted and self-assured as its companion piece, and I know that I will have a major breakdown after the movie fades to credits and the full realization that my childhood Harry Potter is over, really over, hits me at last. Just me and every late teen/young adult, just blubbering incessantly and weeping inconsolably. All beautiful things have to come to an end. For the time in my life, I'll feel the full impact of the words, "they'll never understand what it was like". OK shut up now. Pull it together til July, dammit!

Nov: Twilight - JUST KIDDING. FUCK THAT SHIT. Wow 2011 is going to be an emotionally unstable one for me when it comes to the movies...

Dec 21: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo - Rooney Mara

(Trailer TBD????)

Fincher Fincher Fincher Fincher Fincher

Possibles: War Horse, The Adventures of Tintin, Hugo Cabret, Arthur, X-Men: First Class, Your Highness

Looking back at my 2010 list of anticipated movies, I realize that a third of the movies I never saw on that list and a third of them didn't even come out. And that was in April. Making a list at this time of the year is starting to feel futile.

A Plea to AMPAS

I don't care if The Social Network loses, only that David Fincher wins Best Director. Please, Oscars, uphold a shred of dignity by giving the award to that man, because you know he deserves it. I have a feeling they will even if he did lose the DGA (because members of the Director's Guild are poopy phonies), and even if the directors won't vote for Fincher, he's still universally adored by actors, and actors make up the biggest proportion of AMPAS.

At the Globes, when Fincher went up onstage to give his acceptance speech, all the actors had these looks of very serious attentiveness and longing as they watched him talk, in a kind of "do whatever you want to me, I will serve you as a footstool on the set of your next movie if only you'll let me bask in your genius" kind of way, and besides, he's worked with so many big and respected names. Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman, Edward Norton, Cate Blanchett, Mark Ruffalo, Robert Downey Jr., Jake Gyllenhaal, Forest Whitaker. Like, some *very* big names. He is probably one of the most appreciated directors working right now, especially for his (in)famous reputation as an actor's director. Or maybe I'm just trying to rationalize why he'll still win. Just pleaseeeeee give it to Fincher. COME ON. Kthanksbye.

JGL's Open Letter to Peter Travers' Review of the Social Network

I agree with his letter 100% (nice sly ref to his own website, HitREcord at the end) and damn, I love his writing. He writes exactly the way he sounds - a mixture of easy intelligence and stoner cool.

The Social Network & My Generation
an open letter to my friend Peter Travers

Peter,

Hey man! So, I finally watched The Social Network the other night, and today I read your review of it, curious about your claim that this film defines my generation. First let me say, I agree that the movie is impeccable, I thoroughly enjoyed it, and I have nothing but praise and admiration for the folks who made it. But on behalf of we who are inheriting a new earth connected by the Internet, I must raise my hand to say that while Mr. Fincher’s Facebook drama certainly nails a lot of today’s more ominous trends, this story only tells half of our tale.

You say that technology is winning a battle against actual human contact, and that we have become a nation of narcissists, reshaping ourselves online in the hope of being “friended” by others. First of all dude, the cool kids don’t really use “friend” as a verb like that ;o) But in all seriousness, you and I share some of those concerns which The Social Network so poignantly portrays. Whether judging a person’s worth by Twitter followers or a movie’s merit by box office scores, the Information Age has introduced some disturbing new ways for us to measure our culture and ourselves based on trivial statistics and exclusive hierarchies. The low self-esteem and obsession with social status represented by Mr. Eisenberg’s protagonist speak to that brilliantly. And yes, using new communication technology in this way does indeed have the potential to alienate us, to stratify us, and ultimately to weaken the human race.

However! Mr. Travers — I know because of your work and because we’ve had a bunch of awesome conversations — you are a man of letters and a lover of cinema. Well, aren’t the printed word and the motion picture both technologies that blew open doors to new forms of human expression? Technology is not fighting a “battle against actual human contact” any more now than it was then. The Social Network sounds a pertinent alarm against some arguably unhealthy ways our culture is currently using new communication technology, but to say that this film defines a generation is to dismiss the sense of community, the shared empathy, and the collective beauty that our new connectivity has allowed us this past decade. This generation, my generation, we are reaching out to each other, communicating with one another, and creating a shared world in ways no prior generation could have.

Yes, you could focus on the friend-counting narcissists, but you could also focus on countless meaningful relationships formed across national borders and cultural boundaries that would have been logistically impossible before sites like Facebook. And yes of course, there’s the spam-bots slinging Viagra, but there’s also unprecedented opportunities for independent artists and entrepreneurs on sites like Etsy and KickStarter. Or how about the simple fact that I’m sitting here writing this in New Orleans and you’ll read it by tomorrow in New York, along with thousands of movie-lovers like us from all over the world, who will also chime in with their own opinions?

These relationships, these opportunities, these connections, these are the unique blessings of my generation. So who’s gonna make the movie about us? I don’t know, but if I had to guess, it’ll be some group of kids who’ve never physically met, living in all different places, all far from Hollywood, trading ideas, uploading videos, and working together via one or another social network.

<3

Blurb

Hollywood, stop trying to make Gemma Arterton happen. She's not going to happen!

How Inception Could Have Been Great

This is random, but I was thinking about Inception, and you know what I wish? I wish Nolan had asked a different visual director to construct a different "dreamscape" for each character. One of the things that disappointed me about Inception was that all of the characters' minds appeared to be so uniform and geometric - apparently, everyone dreams about living in a James Bond movie, and there is no discrepancy between Leonardo Dicaprio's mind and Cillian Murphy's. Nolan would respond to the change in subconscious level by just shifting the location. A snowy mountain with a military-like complex, really? That's Cillian Murphy's deepest, darkest level of subconscious, his innermost refuge? The essence of dreams, the inexplicable and unfathomable details that leave us lying awake in the morning, musing - were left out. Wouldn't it have been wonderful if each dream level had been a different world, each designed by a different director - like Guillermo Del Toro or David Lynch? Wouldn't that have made Inception so beautiful to revisit?

Unfortunately, I've seen it once and have no interest in seeing it again. I feel like Nolan was more influenced by videogames than he was by dreams. Time up, points earned, faceless enemies counted - onto the next level!

Speaking of zeitgeisty actors, I found this picture several months ago. I believe it was taken in 2009. It's Tom Sturridge, Andrew Garfield, and Robert Pattinson. They're like all part of this young British invasion mafia, I think? Supposedly they all hang out together in LA - Eddie Redmayne's part of it too. BUT THE CLOTHES, THE CLOTHES.

I could not stop laughing when I first saw this. Bless his heart.

Golden Globes Live Reaction

8:15: Well so far, I love that people are COMPLETELY ignoring the band sign-off and just plowing on with their speeches. Ricky Gervais incredulously: "It's like Pac-Man!"

8:30: I do not believe anyone can top Chris Colfer's speech tonight. Just amazing. And Lea Michele's tears.

8:35: 8:10: Since none of my friends were interested in watching The Golden Globes, I just wandered into my favorite common room, and alas, I'm sitting with a few girls who have NO IDEA WHO ANY OF THE PEOPLE OR MOVIES SHOWN TONIGHT ARE. One fascinating specimen of a girl: did not recognize Robert De Niro, and also said "ugh" in disappointment after Chris Colfer's name was announced as the winner, and then said "oh, he DID win!" when the camera showed Chris walking up the stage....I just don't know how to respond.

8:40: I knew Boardwalk Empire would win for the movie-legend names attached, but IT IS SIMPLY UNJUST. This was the best season of Mad Men so far, one of the finest television seasons in history EVER, and Boardwalk Empire was solid but still grasping for its straws, understandable for its first season. Also: Jon Hamm should have won.

8:45: Andrew Garfield is just too funny/cute (while presenting TSN clip). "A very supportive room we have here!" I refuse to fall in love with you, Andrew.

8:50: Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross win! And did David Fincher actually show up for an awards show? I love his reaction to all of the hullabaloo - he seems genuinely annoyed by all the awards shows, and said publicly that he didn't understand the critics praise. "The Social Network is not earth-shattering." Oh Finchy.

9:10: New gem from the girl next to me during a clip of Mark Wahlberg in "The Fighter": "Is that Matt Damon?"

9:12: Al Pacino wins. He may be one of my favoritest actors ever, but like most people who have sat through his acceptance speeches (it's like he specifically takes advantage of his "Screen Icon and Fucking Legend" status and toys with us by rambling on because knows that no one would ever dare play Al Flipping Pacino off the stage) I now have a Pavlovian response to leave the room whenever "Al Pacino" is read off an envelope. Brb.

9:18: Back! Claire Danes' speech wrapping up. Whew. Missed double dose of spastic rambling.

9:25: Tina Fey and Steve Carell: BEST BANTER EVER. "King George V-I".

9:44: Ad for "No Strings Attached". Everyone in the room simultaneously: "I realllyyyy want to see that!" Sigh.

9:58: Girl next to me while Matt Damon is speaking: "Is that Matt Damon?"

1o:00 De Niro montage epic time. Did they leave Heat off the list??

10:20: MORE DARREN CRISS SIGHTINGS PLEASE.

10:40: Am hating the animosity towards Ricky Gervais. C'mon, actors. 1) You are constantly receiving lavish praise and fawning attention, so SUCK IT UP. 2) You know who you hired, right? Didn't you get him because his "edgy" humor is exactly what the Globes wanted? What pussies. "He used to be much nicer." If Karl Pilkington can do it, so can you. But then again, not many people are as awesome as that orange-headed genius, are there? Making fun of Tim Allen's mostly forgettable filmography, Robert Downey Jr's old party ways, and Mel Gibson's general shittiness, and slamming the universally lambasted The Tourist is not crossing the line. At all. If he had say, made fun of Sandra Bullock's divorce from Jesse James, that would truly be a shitty thing to do. But pleaseeeee Hollywood. Admit that this is in fact healthy for you.

10:45: Colin Firth wins at life for coining the phrase, "robust triangle of man-love." My favorite comment about him tonight: "The way he kissed his wife after winning confirmed my suspicions that he is a tiger in the sack." Must pause now.

10:58: Jesse Eisenberg yanking Andrew Garfield out of his chair and pulling him onto the stage = fave moment of Globes ever.

2011 Critics Choice Awards Observations

1. The camera really, really likes Jon Hamm and Matt Damon. And I like you, cameraperson. There was also a really hot shot of Ryan Gosling looking spruced up for once, reclining in his chair with his arm slung to the side like he didn't have a care in the world. My god, he looks fine in that pose.

2. I LOVE ANDREW GARFIELD. He looked ridiculously happy/goofy when Christian Bale won, and he's was headbanging to the beat of the music. I wonder if he knows about the online fandom of the "Jewnicorn" romance between him and Eisenberg?

3. Christopher Nolan on winning "Best Action Film" for Inception: "I'd like to thank the studio for believing that this was an action movie in the first place." Oh Mr. Nolan, that is what your movie is. It's an elaborate heist movie with a few psychological/surrealist gimmicks. You have half the explosions of a Michael Bay movie and all the stunts, suits, and pithy retorts of a James Bond movie.

3. Seeing stars chat up other stars is the weirdest. Elle Fanning and Matt Damon talking, Quentin Tarantino with random people, Colin Firth and Michelle Williams, Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield being incredibly buddy-buddy, Christian Bale and Ryan Gosling, and Robert Duvall and Warren Beatty probably having fun together in their exclusive Acting Legends' Club.

4. Spoof skits are SO EMBARRASSING. Did they not learn from the Kristen Chenoweth mishap from last year? I had to change to another channel.

5. The Kardashian sisters present, and I lower the volume immediately. My favorite film blogger is so funny about this: "The Kardashians? Oh BFCA. I haven't been this ashamed since Katy Perry didn't know who Darren Aronofsky was two years back. THEY are making jokes about documentaries and the failures of our educational system? Oh the levels."

6. I don't know if it's the pregnancy glow or the post-Black Swan confidence - maybe both, but this is the most relaxed and interesting Natalie Portman as I've seen her. Glad to see that the little-girl-Valley-speech shtick is over.

7. Jane Fonda presents Best Picture. A) I am so glad that they asked an actress to do this B) "Someone backstage called me a cougar. I told him, "young man, I have no idea what that even means, but put your clothes on and get out of my dressing room.". <3.>

8. Mila Kunis is not impressed with Quentin Tarantino's exuberant, inspiring speech or The Social Network's win. She has been looking exquisitely bored all night.

9. In retrospect, the BFCA showed admirable restraint in showing a 'Best of the Year' montage instead of just "this year in movies" in some pseudo-egalitarian attempt to rein in younger viewers. I don't care if Eclipse does represent an important demographic of movie-goers; it doesn't belong in any awards show, period.

10. Most awkward cut-away ending ever to the calmest, strangely non-eventful and overall amiable awards show ever. And that's a wrap.

11. And uh.....I am so re-watching this?

2nd Annual Golden Globes Rage

It was a good thing no one else was home with the exception of my puppy (not a puppy anymore, but I still call my baby that because she looks like one) sleeping under the covers because then I could give full vent to my feelings and moan "Oh...... GOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDD!" without inhibition.

after reading that Justin Bieber and Zac Efron will be both presenters at the Golden Globes. I realize that every teenage/preteen girl is screaming the same thing, albeit in a different tone, but my god, they really are past pretending that their presenters have anything to do with the movie biz at all, aren't they? I mean, I actually don't have anything against Bieber, unlike most people. I think he's adequately talented and has the right skills and understanding of the industry. But realllllllllllllllllllllyyyyy? Again, I simply don't understand why awards shows bother to cater to the pre-teen set since the Globes will be totally past their bedtime. They'll have to introduce him in the first half-hour if they want the targeted demographic to tune in.

And WHY the awards show obsession still with Jennifer Lopez? She hasn't been relevant for about eight years. The last movie she did that comes to mind is that movie with Jane Fonda...let's see, she did come out with a movie in 2010 - The Back-Up Plan, which I recall seeing promos for even though I still can't tell you what it's about - and that was her first movie in three years. She also has no further upcoming projects (she did American Idol, right?) and is well on her way to becoming a mere smudge in the history books of pop culture. C'mon, globes. I understand the fascination with Bieber at least, but Lopez' presence is just a puzzle.

The sad thing is, earlier I remember someone writing on a blog - "next thing you know they'll be inviting Justin Bieber to the Globes" and well, just comes to show that you can never set your standards low enough for the Globes - they'll defy your wildest expectations for crap.